Valentine's Day is an Occasion for (Self) Love

I used to be someone who hated Valentine's Day. I mean, the moments leading up to it were fine. I had hope that some perfect gentleman would swoop in and ask me to be his Valentine. And then the day came, and I had to bask in the idea that I was single, without a date.

Let's be honest. Valentine's Day is all about the marketing. But I'm not a hater of the day. I think it's always great to spend time with your significant other. But if you're single, I don't think it's a time to focus on a loss either.

The real focus of the day is love. Love, for one, can be for friends and family, which is why I think it's a great idea to get together with a bunch of your single buds and have a date. But let's be real: we all sometimes feel like we are the only single one, and it's easy to feel down in the dumps because of that.

So, in that situation, how about focus on loving yourself? On being happy being you. So I've created a list of awesome things to do on a Valentine's date with yourself (although we all have our own ways, here are mine):

1. Dress up. I mean, you're on a date right? And it's with a pretty awesome person. So do it all up! For me, that's a hot bath followed by doing my hair, makeup and a mani-pedi, but it's different for everyone.

2. Light the candles. Why not have a romantic mood? Candles are awesome (as long as you're safe with them). It's a great way to relax and focus on yourself!

3. Eat chocolate. That's sort of a given. With all of the tasty goods in every single store possible, it's hard to resist anyways. Don't feel guilty chowing down on them either!

4. Watch chick flicks. This might sound a little weird, especially since most of these are romantic comedies (way to rub in that you're single??!). But hey, I refuse to be mourning a loss of love on a day dedicated to it. And it's important to remember that just because today you are single, doesn't mean you always will. Plus, you could always go the other route of chick flicks with embracing being single, like Legally Blonde, John Tucker Must Die, and The Other Woman.

5. Pizza. Or whatever your favourite order-in food is. Because you deserve to have an awesome meal. After all, it is a date. Plus, pizza is awesome.

6. Sleep. Who doesn't like sleep? My suggestion is a nice tea to relax, and then getting that beauty rest you need. It's a perfect way to end your date.

That's my ideal me-date anyways. We all have our own ways. Whatever it is, Happy Valentine's Day!

Stigma Stinks

Stigma. It's something that surrounds those of us who deal with mental illness. Whether it be being called crazy, or being treated as something that needs "fixing," it can be hard dealing with something so misunderstood. I for one have first-hand experience in this, and it's something that can be extremely hard to deal with.

There are many causes for mental illness including chemical imbalances in the brain, biology and life events. There's usually not one explanation, however, people who deal with a mental illness often are looked at as if there is. Many people in medical and counselling professions look at them as something broken. It's not as easy as finding one solution. Mental illness is very layered.

I am a single person, and would never say that I understand all people who have dealt with mental health problems, even if they are the same as mine. Every person experiences things differently. For myself, it was never as simple as being told what to do. I had to come to find my own coping methods in my own terms, and not by people getting mad at me for not trying the right thing.

Mental illness is misunderstood, and often isolated people who deal with it. Some people find it harder to accept them because they are "different" (while in fact there is such a high percentage of people who deal with it - 1 in 5 people have a mental illness!). Whether it's pitying them or not including them, it makes it tougher. Having a mental illness can deeply affect one's mind, and they already feel isolated enough.

For myself, there are many things that are harder to control. I deal with both bipolar and anxiety. Some days I will feel so anxious that I can hardly function. However, because it's not a physical illness, people often shrug it off. However, having a good mental health is especially important too.

Movies and television shows don't help either. References are made to "psychos" all the time. I remember the horror movie The Roomate where the main antagonist was a girl who suffered from either bipolar or schizophrenia, and by not taking her medication, she was lashing out and attacking people. When the other characters in the film found out about this, they made a big deal about the fact that she suffered with either for these. Of course, in the news, we only hear about mental illness in terms of people with it killing people or an act of violence. This paints them as dangerous. Yes, there are those who are. But definitely not everyone.

I could go on and on about the many stereotypes there are. I think that in the end it's important to be educated about mental health. The fact is that every single person does have a mental health. And just because you have a mental illness, doesn't mean you have a bad mental health, just as having no mental illness doesn't mean you have a good mental health. It's all about self care not only for your body, but also your mind.

I like to speak out about my experiences. There's so many misconceptions out there, and many people who feel extremely alone. It shouldn't be something to be ashamed of. It's important to educate others about it, because it's often the "elephant in the room." I feel that it's time we start learning the truth about mental illness and start challenging the stigma.

A Little About Self-Care

As Mental Health Week wraps up, I thought I'd write a post about it. I think that mental health is often
overlooked. While physical health is emphasized as important, keeping oneself fit mentally is talked about much less often.

People often mistaken mental health and mental illness. The fact is that everyone has a mental health, whether it be good or bad. And yes, just because you have a mental illness, does not mean you have a poor mental health. I, as survivor and person dealing with bipolar and anxiety disorder, make sure I take extra care of myself mentally.

Because it's not exactly seen, people tend to think of mental health problems as not as valid. I firmly believe that every once in a while, a Mental Health Day is important, but usually, days off are only seen necessary if it is physical. However, just as having a great physical health has a positive effect on one's mind (emotions, mental state, etc.), taking care of one's mind has a great effect on one's physical health.

Everyone is different, so they way that each person cares for themselves is not the same. Certain people find that some things work and that others don't. Regardless, I thought it would be a good idea to have a list of self-care suggestions.

1. Relax, clear your mind and listen to calm music
2. Read a book while drinking a cup of hot tea
3. Go for a walk outside and explore an area you've never before
4. Take a relaxing hot bubble bath
5. Watch the movie or television show that makes you most happy
6. Have your own personal dance party
7. Draw, paint or express yourself in another form of visual art
8. Research a topic you are interested in
9. Play an instrument or sing along to your favourite tunes
10. Write a journal entry, poetry, short story, or another form of written art
11. Cut out magazines and create a collage of all the things that make you happy
12. Dress up nice for no particular reason
13. Exercise your body by going for a run or to the gym
14. Indulge in a smoothie or another healthy treat
15. Join a club, sport or community group that interests you
16. Spend time with animals
17. Give yourself a manicure/pedicure
18. Catch up with an old friend you haven't spoken to in a while
19. Make yourself a nice meal or bake a fancy dessert
20. Any other hobby or activity you already love or are interested in picking up

Of course, there are so many other ways that you can care for yourself. In the grand scheme of things, this is a very short list. I challenge everyone to pick one or two things, or create your own! Taking care of yourself is essential to living a full and healthy life.