Recognizing Resilience

As a social work student, I know how important it is to acknowledge the resilience in individuals. People are survivors of their own struggles. Yet, I know people even in that field of work who resort to blaming these people for the measures they have taken in order to survive, when the most important thing should be that they have.

Coping with one's own battles is extremely difficult. Different people find different ways. Of course, ways of coping aren't just doing hobbies, exercising and meditating. People find other ways of dealing with their problems, and not always necessarily good ones, such as substance use and self-harm (cutting, pulling hair, purging, etc.)

Regardless of if it is not the best way of dealing with one's problems, it's important to recognize that it still is a way of dealing. The way a person copes does not make them weak. By saying this, I'm not condoning these actions, but saying that they are survival tools.

There's not always an explanation for why something works, but the fact remains that it works. While I think that it's important to one day be able to shift to healthier alternatives, I also think that it's not as easy as stopping something that has been working for you.

Many health professionals that I have spoken with in the past over my personal problems have put me down for the ways that I had dealt with my problems. While they were not always the best ways, these were the tools that I had used in order to deal in the best way that I could. By condemning me, I simply shut them out.

Never shame someone for their coping mechanisms. Of course, suggesting healthier alternatives are a good idea, but it's never as simply quitting one thing and starting another. I am not a professional, and am not saying I know the best way for professionals to help a person in this situation (especially since everyone is different), but am emphasizing that resilience needs to be recognized.

Don't ever forget that you are a survivor. No matter the way that you have survived, the fact remains that you have. We all have different ways of coping, and different ways of living. That is what makes us strong.