It Starts With Elementary

People often think of high school as the peak of bullying, mean kids and stereotypes. In many situations, yes it is. But it's often forgotten how hard it can be in elementary school too. In fact, for many children, this is when they begin to develop ideas and labels that influence high school cliques and groups. 

One of my major issues with elementary schools is their lack of support for LGBT kids. I'm not saying that all schools are this way, but there is a large amount of them. Teachers often shrug off the comments such as "gay." I remember being in second grade and my classmates telling me that the word gay was an insult to boys. My teacher, who ended up being part of the situation, didn't even take that opportunity to educate us students. 

Many children come out during these years. As they start to learn about sex in school, they fail to learn that sex isn't just a thing between man and woman. I'm not saying they should go in detail, but they definitely need to discuss that sexuality is very diverse. 

This is where so many ideologies come from. By not having the proper education and support, children either grow up feeling neglected, or form negative opinions of the LGBT community. I hear about so much bullying that goes on due to this, and so little is done about it. It's not just kids being kids. It's a serious issue that needs to be addressed. 

Unfortuantly, we can't just change the school system overnight. But I think it's important that supportive parents and teachers take the time to provide proper education. For myself, I know that I grew up with negative opinions on people within the LGBT community, and it took me branching off from what I was taught to discover the truth for myself (and I now identify as part of the community). If you know anyone who looks up to you, take time to educate them. That's the key to creating healthier school environments and a generation that embraces sexual and gender diversity. 

Of Heritage and Fitting In

For as long as I can remember, I haven't been the biggest fan of my eyes. It's one thing that has left me most insecure. Although it's human to worry about appearances, I think a lot of it has to do with what we are told is beautiful. People around me have often laughed at how my eyes look, and whether it be joking or not, it certainly has an effect on me.

Being part Vietnamese, I am looked at a certain way. Like all races, there are stereotypes. I think the Vietnamese culture is wonderful and beautiful, but having a family who is very much Canadian (and white skinned), I've always felt like a bit of an outsider. In order to fit in into a lot of groups, I feel like I have to clarify that I am in fact part Canadian.

This is horrible. And I know that a lot of people deal with it. We're okay with your race as long as you act like us is an attitude I have seen a lot. We live in a Westernized culture where people who don't fit into the norms are often not included.

Racist jokes and attitudes do have a huge effect on people. For example, as a kid I was always picked on and told that I was a "nerd." Although by definition, that would make me really smart, and that would be great, I was an average student. And I didn't like being told who I was and it made me want to prove to people otherwise, so I tried to lower my grades in school.

It's not uncommon for people to make jokes about my eyes either. What eyes? Open your eyes. Can you even see? It's very familiar. And it creates internalized oppression that I associate these negative comments with my heritage. While in fact, heritage should be anything but something to be ashamed of. Who we are is something that is wonderful.

I've started to take a step back and think. Why are all these things so bad anyways? My background should be something to be proud of! There should be absolutely wrong with me expressing it because it's a huge part of me. Learning new things about myself feels great, and I love realizing how beautiful my physical attributes associated with the culture's people are.

It's important that we learn to embrace each other's heritage. That we learn about racial diversity, and how one vast culture is unique to every single person. By surrounding ourselves with people who are different than us, it opens a whole new perspective. Instead of relying on stereotypes and having a common ground of living in a Western culture, how about we take the time to get to know each person and the unique culture they have created for themselves?

Stigma Stinks

Stigma. It's something that surrounds those of us who deal with mental illness. Whether it be being called crazy, or being treated as something that needs "fixing," it can be hard dealing with something so misunderstood. I for one have first-hand experience in this, and it's something that can be extremely hard to deal with.

There are many causes for mental illness including chemical imbalances in the brain, biology and life events. There's usually not one explanation, however, people who deal with a mental illness often are looked at as if there is. Many people in medical and counselling professions look at them as something broken. It's not as easy as finding one solution. Mental illness is very layered.

I am a single person, and would never say that I understand all people who have dealt with mental health problems, even if they are the same as mine. Every person experiences things differently. For myself, it was never as simple as being told what to do. I had to come to find my own coping methods in my own terms, and not by people getting mad at me for not trying the right thing.

Mental illness is misunderstood, and often isolated people who deal with it. Some people find it harder to accept them because they are "different" (while in fact there is such a high percentage of people who deal with it - 1 in 5 people have a mental illness!). Whether it's pitying them or not including them, it makes it tougher. Having a mental illness can deeply affect one's mind, and they already feel isolated enough.

For myself, there are many things that are harder to control. I deal with both bipolar and anxiety. Some days I will feel so anxious that I can hardly function. However, because it's not a physical illness, people often shrug it off. However, having a good mental health is especially important too.

Movies and television shows don't help either. References are made to "psychos" all the time. I remember the horror movie The Roomate where the main antagonist was a girl who suffered from either bipolar or schizophrenia, and by not taking her medication, she was lashing out and attacking people. When the other characters in the film found out about this, they made a big deal about the fact that she suffered with either for these. Of course, in the news, we only hear about mental illness in terms of people with it killing people or an act of violence. This paints them as dangerous. Yes, there are those who are. But definitely not everyone.

I could go on and on about the many stereotypes there are. I think that in the end it's important to be educated about mental health. The fact is that every single person does have a mental health. And just because you have a mental illness, doesn't mean you have a bad mental health, just as having no mental illness doesn't mean you have a good mental health. It's all about self care not only for your body, but also your mind.

I like to speak out about my experiences. There's so many misconceptions out there, and many people who feel extremely alone. It shouldn't be something to be ashamed of. It's important to educate others about it, because it's often the "elephant in the room." I feel that it's time we start learning the truth about mental illness and start challenging the stigma.

Frozen: The Story of a True Beauty Queen

I love Disney, but I have to admit it sends out a lot of superficial messages to young girls. Growing up, I longed for fair skin, pretty dresses and my own Prince Charming. It seemed like the ultimate goal. Once I had all of those things, I could finally be happy. Looking back, those messages are horrible, and blinds girls from seeing that there is so much more to life than how they look and finding true love.

The vast majority of us know about Disney's newest movie Frozen. And I can't lie - I'm still belting out the songs (not that I can sing). As much as the movie is sweet and fun, I found it was full of so much more positive messages than past films.

Elsa, is in so many ways a character that I look up to. Fictional, maybe, but with being so influenced with princesses I could never come close to being like, it's nice to be able to connect with one of them. Elsa is a newly crowned queen with what is seemingly a dangerous power (hence the name Frozen) and is full of wonderful character traits.

What I found great, in my opinion, was her view on love. After meeting someone for just a day, her sister Anna is ready to marry him. Elsa openly does not think this is a good idea. Why? Because love isn't as simple as meeting a prince and marrying him - and it's also not the only form of happiness. Elsa, throughout the movie has no romantic love interest (nor does she want to) and is completely happy that way. I think it shows girls that there's an important in loving yourself first.

Her bold character also shows that women are strong and resilient beings. Elsa is a queen, and she doesn't need a king to help her out. Her whole life, she has been in her room, isolated from the world. And yet, she has such strength and will. She makes mistakes (I  mean, she freezes over her entire kingdom and nearly kills her sister), but shows that the real power is not in being perfect, but in taking responsibility.

Her famous song Let It Go shows a lovely transformation from who she is expected to be and who she wants to be. I think that it's so important that girls know that they don't have to follow the norms. There are so many pressures out there, and knowing that you can simply be yourself is an important thing.

All in all, I feel that Elsa is a well-rounded character. Disney has still stuck to what society believes as beautiful (sadly), making its princesses petite and fair, however this time at least they have added some character. Elsa is the ultimate beauty queen, and it's not because of her hair or stunning blue dress, but because of her kick-ass personality.

Wait, What About Men's Rights?

Recently, I've found there is a lot of talk surrounding men and their oppression. Many men have begun to speak up about them being demonized due to being thought of as rapists. Others have begun to fight for their "rights." I don't know anyone who doesn't deal with a form of oppression. We all have areas of our lives that make up more disadvantaged than others (as well as areas where we are more advantaged). People are layered, and there identity is not ever just made of one single element.

While keeping this in mind, I think that it's essential for women to be in the spotlight, fighting for their rights. Although we've progressed, we still live in a society that is male-dominated. Many men see this as them being attacked, and have decided that they want to do the same thing. And that's where some problems arise.

Undoubtedly, we live in a patriarchal society. Although women have much more job opportunities, it's still much harder for them to get jobs (and that's only one example of the sexism they face). While men face issues, they are more to do with past cultural norms and less to do with rights. It seems that every right a woman faces for is counteracted, and I think it's important to talk about what women's rights activism is needed, and it's not just an unnecessary hobby of extremists.

1. "Men get sexually assaulted too, and no one cares about that."
I think that anyone being sexually assaulted is terrible. Men have it so hard because they are often deemed as "weak" and that they need to "man up." I am an activism for male survivors' rights, because I don't think there's anywhere near enough support. However, a lot of these words that are used to put down this group, are actually words associated with females. Weak, for example, is used to put men down and make them feel that what they are saying is not valid. We need feminism because it seeks to validate that emotions and other attributes associated with women are wonderful things (in both women and men).

2. "Women get to wear clothing like short shorts, and then complain about being 'slut shamed.' Men just can't wear short shorts, period."
Of course, I definitely believe that clothing is a beautiful form of self-expression. Yes, society says it's bad for men to wear "skimpy" clothes, yet they are allowed to walk around with no shirts on. Women and girls on the other hand are surrounded by media telling them how skinny they have to be, and the moment they feel proud enough of their body to show it, they are put down (while men - media telling them to be strong and muscular - showing that off would not paint them as negative).

3. "Men are objectified and sexualized in the media too."
Of course. They media paints everyone as a sexual being. It's all about sex. While sex isn't always a bad thing, often the way it's portrayed in ads is. While both genders may be sexualized, it's interesting that in ads, men are constantly the dominant one. This gives an image to us viewers, that men are on top. Not by any fault of ours, but the psychological effect is more than we think.

4. "Women have pressures, but so do men. We have to be fit and strong."
It's sad that so many of the pressures do exist. But when you think about it, why is it so bad to not be strong? Because if you're not, you're weak. Being called a "girl" is one of the worst insults. And that's why this all relates back to how sexism exists (and yes, even men can face sexism from a men-are-better-than-women standpoint).

5. By saying things such as 'teach boys not to rape,' women are oppressing men."
The fact is that young girls are growing up being told how to be safe. Boys are taught nothing at all, while perpetrators are commonly male. This is not blaming all men, but saying that all children need to be taught about the issue, and not just girls. There are so many young boys who have been sexually abused, and by actually talking about it, they would not feel so stigmatized.

By no means am I saying men don't face problems too, because they do. What each person feels is 100% valid. But when it comes to the gender gap, it's common that little education leads to men feeling attacked, when it's not the idea at all. Women and men need to unite in order to create equity.